beef udon♣
November 1, 2010 / 6:06 PM
i dont want to expect anything from you because i dont want to get too close and then get cut off when i need you. i don't want anything to happen, i just want to be a somewhat happy student who can talk to you and get to know you better. talking to you makes me happy .. strangely. i don't even know you well; yet just the fact your posts make me smile must mean something .. right? i'm so dense at times. talked to mpr about you today and she thinks the whole thing's cute. for a moment it made me sad because i wish i could tell another person about it, but yeah .. I don't know where we stand anymore. to be blunt, i really miss being around her, but i feel like we're beginning to slip away.
you cant expect me to open up to you when you're yelling and pointing fingers at everyone. and you shouldn't contradict yourself twice when it's already evident the cause falls on you. you just can't expect us to be honest with you when you're pulling us down and making us feel like we're completely wrong in everything that we do. i wish you tried harder to help out.
and i found out today i'm the only person from our school who's going to connect mun .. amy isn't going anymore. it's going to be one of those things where i'll have to keep my chin up, smile, and just meet new people .. even though i'll be nervous the whole time. i ended up being assigned amnesty international again, which is really great since i know some background info on it so yeah .. i'm looking forward to nov.19-21 (: except i need to find my blazer.. and all my formal non-icky clothes. this is the the first time i'm going to a conference that doesn't have other people from school going .. aaagh. i'll prolly have to bring my laptop for the power point, so i guess i wont be bored if i go on facebook after the presentation, HAHA.
i feel like hiding my head inside a paper bag and screaming my stress into a cave that will echo and retaliate all the worry building up inside my heart.