downhill♣
September 29, 2010 / 5:59 PM
I was looking really forward to the long weekend ...but now I'm not.
All because I accidentally left a piece of paper in my shorts and my mother washed those shorts; then when they came out of the washing machine little bits of paper were everywhere, and it was more work for my stay-at-home mother who cleans the house everyday and doesn't go out and likes keeping me at home and dictating a fair percentage of my life. So my "punishment" is not being able to go to the pro-life event (at VC) with my brother and dad on Sunday. I have to stay at home and do more homework just to kill the time. I HATE THIS. I was so excited for the weekend but now I have nothing to look forward to. Yeah, more time to do homework. BUT I AM SICK OF HOMEWORK, and I wanted to use those 4 hours on Sunday just to chillax with Lucida and Mags. I DON'T WANT TO STAY HOME. I'm not even allowed to go anywhere after the Walkathon. I'M GOING HOME (again) AFTER THE WALKATHON. I don't get to go anywhere, unless it's school required. You like pinning me down and not listening to my opinions. You like to think you're right ("What I say is WHAT I SAY!") and the perfect model to grow into. Sorry, BUT YOU'RE NOT. No one's perfect, and just because we're related BY BLOOD doesn't mean I have to grow up to be like YOU. You want me to talk about the future to you, but how can I? ALL YOU DO IS PULL ME DOWN AND OFFER ME UNREALISTIC ADVICE. I appreciate the words of wisdom you bestow upon me, BUT AT THE MOMENT I'M REALLY SICK OF THEM. Even my brother wants freedom and independence. What do you do? YOU MAKE HIS LIFE MISERABLE WITH ALL THE EXTRA (pointless) ENGLISH WORK YOU GIVE HIM. And you NEVER listen to me. People wonder why I'm so hyped up and loud at school; it's because at home, there's no one to talk to (besides my brother. Dad comes home at midnight) and it just feels so lonely. And when people call to talk to me, YOU GET ANNOYED AND TELL ME TO END THE CALL AFTER HALF A FLIPPING HOUR. Yeah, it's totally fine you can talk to Ninang for more than an hour. You really enjoy your long-distance calls. It's childish how you bang stuff and almost break them. I like being at home in my room, but I prefer being outside. The atmosphere is just more .. happier. While at home I have to be careful and make sure I'm not doing anything stupid that will annoy you. You have so much high expectations for me, WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN LIVE UP TO THE EXPECTATIONS YOU SET FOR YOURSELF. People wonder why I have such a low confidence level and well .. maybe it's clearer now. I hate how you lie to Lolo and Lola, throw garbage on the floor when you think people don't see you, That Face you put on when you're in an argument, and all your itty bitty quirks that cease to continue. You try being sympathetic to my feelings when all you do is point the evidence to the pessimistic side. I DON'T LIKE HOW YOU TREAT ME.
The only thing I'm looking forward to is the retreat next week.
Two days to be away from EVERYTHING - school, homework, and all the blues.
I just want to take a lot of photos with everyone and think about nothing.
Nothing, nothing at all.
I just want to be a little kid again.