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when I least deserve it♣

March 29, 2010 / 8:43 AM

So I'm feeling better than yesterday. and that day before yesterday. and the friday before that day before yesterday. I feel like there's an empty hole in my chest. I don't why. I feel like I don't care anymore. like, everything could go down the hole for all that matters. is that what feeling better means? and I'm not the only one feeling like this. every little thing that happens gets blamed on me. me me me. I don't feel up to it today, I didn't want to go to school. I wanted to fake sick, stay home, watch TV, and work on my religion prayer service. I wanted to curl up and stay in bed and ignore the music playing in the background. Lifeless, limp, like a rag doll. Irony comes and go, I don't want to keep up with the flow. stupid me, stupid stupid me. I wasted an entire weekend, now I have to cram everything else. as usual. again. Why can't we study outside? sunshine sunshine me please. Planning after, looking forward to a slack class and basically almost a freestyle block. faking happiness is harder than it looks. but apparently it's healthy for you, or so the researchers say. I had bacon for breakfast. that was the only smiley of this day so far. and seeing everyone in school.