♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

out for a walk, in for disaster.♣

November 4, 2009 / 6:49 PM

Right now, I'm tired.
sad.
frustrated.
annoyed.
disappointed.
and most of all, in need of sleep.

I'm not going to say today was crummy or fail. I made myself promise not to do that. I'm going to say that today was a learning experience for me, another milestone into life's hardwrecked train ride journey. I'm going to say that after I went for a walk to clear my thoughts, I had all my comfort food. I dont care anymore, I'm too tired to really give a damn about things. My parents keep interfering in my life and just, wont, stop. No respect or anything. Sometimes I feel like no one really understands, besides me, myself, and I. I didnt expect to get a mark like that on my religion essay- I was so surprised, I stared at the paper for a long time. I dont understand, she's so ridiculous. I dont really care what Ms.H. was thinking, because what she was telling us back was basically contradictory. She tried using reverse psychology on us, and man was that fail. I'm upset, but I know people dont seem to get it. I wish people wouldnt presume that I'm smart and all that. AP classes just add to my blood pressure. I'm breathing in and out, but nothing feels enough anymore. Everytime I'm in class, I am so fricking tired. And my friendship with you is detoriating. I hate this, hate that, hate what's happening right now. One day when I'm old I'll look back and think things werent so bad then. One day I'll look back at my mistakes and laugh them off. But I cant do that right now, when I'm feeling so terrible and low. There are so many things I want to say to people but I already know what they're going to tell me to quit complaining because my mark's already high. I'm not even sure I like the school anymore- the people that make it up are fine, but the school itself? Words bouncing back everytime something like this happens. I want to live long and work hard. Stupid marks, whatever good are they? There's more to school than getting an education. I wish, wish, I was living this in a dream, so that when I wake up to reality I'll be feeling fine all the time. Interims out next Friday, booy am I screwed. This is real, but isn't me. I want to talk to you, but its like you dont even need me or realize I exist.