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frustration(s) running in these veins.♣

November 25, 2009 / 6:25 AM

I really don't care anymore.
I'm tired, tired of this pitless hole I always seem to be falling in.
I dont know anymore, all I want to do is cry myself to sleep.
But I can't, because now I'm awake again to go to school.
And nothing seems to fall from my eyes.
I dont want to go to school.
I dont want to take the french test.
or the science test we're going to be planning today.
I wish I didn't even meet you or even know you.
I starting to feel like hating myself,
I always seem to get myself into these type of things.
I dont want to do anything.
Its only my piece of paper and pen that help me with this mess.
After yesterday's events, all I want to do is see you and tell you everything,
but really, how can I do that when I seem to be non-existent in your presence?
I respect your opinions, can't you respect mine?
You didn't sound like you were joking yesterday,
you were so serious.
There were a lot of things I wanted to tell you,
but they all got held back because I value our friendship too much.
But sometimes, you cross the line, and it pisses me off.
You can't tell who someone's lover is
just by the number of wall posts and stuff exchanged between two people.
Why do applications even make it to that point?
I'm frustrated, mad, sad, and unfortunately,
feeling vulnerable and mad at the world.
Thinking of you used to make me happy, but now its overshadowed by doubts, fears, and those expectations I hope that don't arise. No more hurting myself, no more no more no more.
You're the one person I want to talk to about this,
but I can't, for various reasons.