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hot lemongrass tea♣

October 26, 2009 / 10:46 AM

When you're sick, there isn't much you can do besides think and sleep and read, especially on stuff that happened in the past.

Just updated my photoblog earlier- I'm going to make it my personal goal that each week, I'm going to at least upload something ONCE so that my profile and blog won't go dead and boring. Surprised to receive a couple of comments on my last entry, didn't think I'd get something, but yeah, life's fair wondrous that way.

I'm just going to let you go, like how I did the same to another person. I let that other person go, and though we aren't best friends anymore, that's okay, because now that I know her even better, I'm not saying that we wouldn't have made good friends- there are just some things best to be left closed. I really miss you, but we hardly talk anymore, and now that I think about it, we only seemed to talk in the first place because we kept ranting off about the same issues that concerned both of us, and we were helpless at the time. You were my pillar of support, and vice versa. I've always seen you as my older brother, and you always will be, but I'm tired of waiting and hoping we can strike the flame of our friendship again when obviously nothing's happening and you seem better off without me. I'm tired of giving people most of my heart when it gets ill-stomped on return. I'm tired of being this sick I can't even go to school, and I'm fed up of being sick for this past week. Forcing myself to go to school wouldn't even help me, just make me worse- I have enough common sense in my system to make sure I can still think straight. I'm screwed for math and science and socials, I'm screwed for everything that needs marks handed in this week. Haven't done math homework, haven't done any science test studying, haven't even looked at my notes for socials. I didn't think getting sick would be this bad and lead to so much cramming and stupid staying up late nights. I'm tired of not hearing from the people I thought were my best friends when I suddenly realize they don't seem to need me anymore. Yeah, it's all my fault I got sick, but believe me, I never asked or prayed for it. I'm at home alone with my mom feeling pathetic and useless. It would make my day if I could hear from you, even once. But now that you seem to have found someone else to replace me, it's done, isn't it. So easy for you, so hard for me. I didn't think you'd go as far to that extent to being careless. I HATE THIS COUGH, gah, I swear I'm going to explode if I cough one more time.. fail, I just did.

That just felt so good, ranting off all about you.
I dont care if people think I'm losing it, because I am.
Plus Ikeep having these awful dreams at night,
so how is any of this supposed to help me?
and i need new songs on my ipod, these old ones are getting on my ears.
need, need, need, want, want, want -
I ask for so many things when there are so many others who have so much little than me
God, forgive me, please, please give me the patience and courage to go through this day
and leave me with feelings of contentment.

Just checked the LFA website, we have Liturgy tom.
poo, why can't we have it on wednesday instead?
i actually want to go to math class tom. because I need to ask a lot of questions,
since my dad hasnt been able to help me the past week because of all those meetings in surreys he's been attending. gah, I love my dad but I dont think I can do his work for the rest of my lifetime. I wanna travel and go places.

'Kay I'm gonna go and get a flickr account, to see what all that fuss is about.
school is such an entertaining challenge.
thanks for putting up with this rant.