rolling dice
now i'm jumping on the questions again, losing all my senses again - i'm a rolling dice and i don't think twice, i gave my heart away
♠ ♥ ♣ ♦


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location: MVA's heart & soul
oh look - the sky is falling!



tespu♣
September 28, 2009 / 4:57 PM

i'm so upset.
i shouldn't be, i should have known you weren't going to let me go.
i should have realized that after all these years if living with you,
you'd stay the same and be a fricking hypocrite and liar and promise-breaker.
it's so unfair. i'm close to hating you a lot.
i hate this. i can't hang out with my friends.
i can't do anything with them at all,
unless it's school related.
you dont trust me, you don't trust me at all.
all that lies in your eyes are lies.
i hate that. and close to hating you.
i'm upset over something that shouldn't hurt me.
i shouldnt have expected you to change your mind and say 'yes, you can go for once.'
it doesn't sound like such a big deal for me to complain about,
but you know, i had lots of hope and faith that you'd give me a chance, one chance.
but no, instead, you give me an ultimatum choice:
either i go and this is the last time i get to hang out
either i dont go and still have one more chance to hang out
talk about being fair with me.
you said a lot of things before,
how since i'm more grown up i can make my own choices as long as i keep my grades
so like, what the heck- arent YOU going to fulfill your side of the bargain
i dont know what to do, i freakishly dont know what to do.
you dont understand anything, all you do is stay at home and do nothing. NOTHING.
you're such a liar and a hyprocrite and overall, someone who i can never seem to get along with. now its back to square one, acting like how you were to me when i told you my decision about joining model un. i'm not srry i;m not my brother, who's your favourite. i'm not srry i'm not being the person you want me to be. you know what? everytime we actually get along, something happens right in the middle of it that jeopardizes everything. and i'm just stuck, wondering what the heck happened and is why is this happening to me. i have so much more to deal with than you could ever understand, and you're not being supportive of me. i'm upset, so upset, i cant even cry. all i can do is stare dumbly and lividly at the computer screen and type away furiously. and i have to make my decision of whether to go or not in a few more minutes. holy pie, i hate this. i hate this, this, and this. and it. i'm sad and frustrated, tears are falling.