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May 6, 2009 / 5:54 PM

She crouched down, alone at last. Sitting cross-legged in the corner, she huddled closer to the small fire she was building up, eager to get away from the cold. Her dripping hair made her look like a ragged Barbie doll, but for once, she was unconcerned about her appearance. She was thinking, deep into her thoughts, the voices shouting in her head. Telling her that she'd be sorry; telling her that her life was over and ruined; telling her that she would regret her decision. Fiercely shaking her head, she moved closer to the fire, warming her hands. She tried thinking about what to do, whether or not she should just give up the wild-goose chance for the man she loved, or to continue. Whether or not to go back home to her parents and surrender; admitting defeat and submitting to obedience. Whether or not she was trying too hard to convince herself that what she did was right, or if she was just putting on the 'brave, good girl act.' She was tired, and sick- of course she would have known that, thanks to the all the books she read on pregnancy in the library. But she wasn't just physically tired- she was mentally tired, too. All day as she was walking, her head was pounding with the rhythm and beat of THE voices, THE voices that seemed to control her thoughts, actions, and words. The voices that dictated every inch of her move; the voices that gave her no choice. She had been in her prison cell for so long, it took some getting used to when she gained independence. She stood up, holding her belly, and tried to look up at the sky, whatever she could see of it. She thought back about those summer nights when she was down by the beach with him- they would have a lovely yet simple picnic dinner by the pier, row out in his rowboat, and look up at the sky, naming all the constellations. It was one of the things you could do over and over again in life that you could never tire of. It was something she would never forget, or even regret. Maybe. Tears formed up at the corner of her eyes, and before she knew it, they were staining her face, and her shirt. Sadness at the fact he had left before she knew. Anger at the fact that he wasn't taking any responsibility for what happened. Frustration at the fact she didn't step back and say 'no.' Madness at what she had done. She knew there was no turning back- there was only looking forward, looking ahead to the future. She knew that right now, the most important thing was to keep herself in one piece, one piece not missing. She would allow herself to cry and breakdown, but not allow herself to do something stupid. "We all have chances in life that we cant screw up," she thought sadly. THE voices are just getting me on edge, because they want me to feel pathetic, weak and stupid.They've been doing that the whole time, in fact, my whole life, and I've never noticed it, she thought, inspiration and strength drawing in on her. Now, she felt better, much more reassured, and the tears slowed down, gradually stopping. Again, deep in thought, she looked up at the night sky, reminiscing all the past events in her life, thinking about each special moment she had, cherishing the good memories lingering in her mind. There was no doubt she could start anew- there was big doubt, though, she would fall back down again and surrender in to misery and sorrow. But, for some reason, she felt like she wasn't alone- she felt like there was someone there keeping her safe, always watching, but never coming out to greet her. It was from that presence she drew on her strength, and it was the strength she gained that kept her perseverance level up. She would do whatever to keep this baby safe, and give it a good life. There was no regret in her choice, but full happiness- it was like God was giving her another chance to start over, and do things right.THE voices would no longer interfere, but instead, fade slowly into the back of her memories, not to be called upon anymore...