♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

Untitled (1)♣

May 4, 2009 / 9:23 PM

Dinner came and went. Claire sat down on the swing set outside, breathing in the fresh night air. It was clean and crisp, and lovely too. This is what Claire loved most about living by the sea- you could always count on fresh air, anytime, all season. She swung back and forth, gently yet restlessly. She didn't know what to do, she didn't how she felt. Jason was leaving, again, but this time for good. He was leaving to go away to university, in London. Out of all the places he had been accepted to, he had to choose London. LONDON. London, England. The place as in where the Queen and the rest of her monarchs lived. Not that Claire paid much attention to the Queen of England anyway, or daydream about being in Buckingham Palace- she only cared about Jason. In fact, she always thought about Jason, dreamed about him even. He was the one person she cared about the most (besides her parents and her brother), the one person that could lift her up her feet. Maybe she was weird liking a guy 4 years older than her, but she didn't care. No, she didn't care, one bit. Maybe for a 14 year old to think these things was ridiculously absurd, but she didn't give a damn. She loved Jason, with a passion that could set the world on fire. He was the one who was there with her through the embarassing moments, the stupid moments, and the most hilarious ones yet. He was the one that always brought her up when she was down. He was always there, so patient, so kind, so giving- he was the perfect Renaissance gentleman (in her opinion, anyways). But of course she wasn't so showy with her feelings- she kept them hidden, right beneath the ground, not willing to let them surface. She kept a barrier between her real feelings and how she acted around him- she was sure she wouldnt be able to control herself. She would probably go insane, too intense the depth her emotions were. God she loved Jason. It had first started out as big brother love, but over the past few months as they spent more and more time together, it was obvious she loved him back, but more than that. She knew he loved her too- as his little sister. She was happy by that fact, eventhough there were times she wished he would look outside the little sister companion and maybe look at her as a possible girlfriend. a funny thing to that too, though, was that he didn't have a girlfriend. Sure he had his gang of friends with girls, but he wasnt as flirty like other jocks or jerks. He was dang gallant, sweet as always, and the pretty much the guy everyone got along with. There wasn't much of a difference in how he acted around her and his group of friends.. or maybe the difference was just sublte, too subtle and small for her well trained eyes to see and notice. No, that couldnt be.. unless...Erasing those disturbing thoughts for her mind, Claire shaked her head, and continued looking out at the moon.

Everyone was talking about him leaving tomorrow. Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, ... basically the whole family was jabbering about him tonight. The neighbours too. They were so proud of this boy, this boy that was going away and probably not even come back. Claire suspected that would happen though. If he wanted to train for professional soccer, he'd have to travel to different places, and not just come back always to the small, boring town. Personally she wondered what a guy like him was doing in a small town like this.

Growing restless, Claire stood up from the swings, grabbed her worn sneakers, and decided to take a walk along the beach. She couldn't resist it, with the pearlescent moon shining above, and with no clouds in the sky. Night's black cape was full of shining stars, all seeming to twinkle as she passed by and looked up at them. Her feet made no noise on the sand, as she silently made her way to the middle of the beach, stretching out her jacket to make it her pillow. She lay down, silently, thinking, breathing in and out. Funny how she came to the place where she first met Jason, and how he wacked her with the volleyball. She sighed. Those were the good times, the good times when she wasnt tormented by her feelings for him. Now was a bad time, when her feelings overcame her heart at many unexpected turns she found herself unable to speak to Jason when he spoke to her, except to gaze endlessly into the depths of his eyes, not stopping until he waved his hands in front of her. But she wasn't the only on to do that- at times, when SHE was speaking, jason would do that, too, and not on purpose (from what she could tell). They would stare at each other, both mesmerized for a minute, their faces leaning closer and closer until some unwelcomed interruption broke their connection, leading Claire to turn pink, Jason to scratch his head and look awkward. But nothing ever big happened- they would just go on acting like before. At times though, (like right now) Claire wished that he had kissed her. It would mean the world to her, actually so much more than that, that she could possibly explode into fireworks if he had kissed her.

With the waves gently lapping at her feet, Claire stood up, and gazed up at the moon, looking for a shooting star. She was hoping for one, because she wanted to make a wish that would keep the lock to her heart locked. She wasn't willing to give in to the tears, not willing to admit that he was possibly leaving her forever. But without knowing the tears started slipping down her face, erasing all the previous thoughts about being strong, and not caring so much if he left. She hated this feeling of weakness and acceptance. She hated that she loved him too much. She loved him too much for her own good, and this is what had become of it- nothing. He would be leaving in two hours, and she wouldnt be there to see him off. Why? Because she suddenly decided she didn't want to. She didn't want to see him like this, to see the real feelings she had kept all bottled up inside. She wasnt ready yet to take off the careful, carefree mask she always had on around him- she wanted him to remember her like that, remember her and the good and funny times they had. The more she thoughts about it, the more she cried. The tears seemed to flo naturally like a river now- there was a steady current to it, a soft gentle rhythym to it. But that rhythym was soon interrupted when someone grabbed her behind and held her tight against his chest. She turned around, gasping for breath, unwilling and half-hoping it wasnt him. Crap- it WAS him. Now he had seen her at her worst. Thinking that made her cry harder. As the tears continued their flow, he held her close to him, rocking her back and forth gently. She couldnt help but noticed that she fit perfectly into his arms, like a puzzle with the perfect fit. Slowly, her tears gradually lessened, and she was able to breathe in and think more clearly. she focused her eyes on the moon above, and the way it seemed to cast its reflection on the pale, blue water. she didnt want to meet his eyes, though his eyes seemed to be probing hers, searching, looking, trying to make contact. She wouldnt let that happen, she wouldnt let him see the side of her she'd tried so long to hide from him. But then, her will crumbled to dust the minute his lips found hers, and she was in temporary heaven- for the moment. They kissed like that- strong, sweet, and overturning for a few more blissful minutes. Kissing him calmed her down, increased her heartbeat, and made her love him more than she could ever hold back. She couldn't turn back now- her feelings for him were now exposed, revealed to the very last layer. But she was guessing it was okay for him, since he didnt mind, but in fact, seemed to like her more for it. Now she wasn't afraid, now she was okay. As soon as they stopped kissing, they kept their foreheads together, faces a few centimetres apart. They had another hour ahead of them, another hour till the doom of separation. Taking her hand, he handed her a letter, with her name on it, and instructions to read it after he left. she nodded, looking into his eyes without question, knowing what the letter would say. As she leaned in to kiss him one more time, albeit the last one she knew that in her heart, the things you loved the most would always come back home to you, even if it meant waiting a lifetime for it to reappear.